"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single stepâ€
(attributed to Lao Tzu – founder of Taoism)
Most
of us have heard this saying or variations of it, especially when we
feel we have a mountain of tasks to complete and friends are trying to
help us get started. The question ‘how do you eat an elephant?’ is
similar – break it down into bite size chunks. Everyone who has achieved
big, huge, monumental things has actually started with a small step or
action; part of their success has been due to focussing on the end
point, rather than the enormity of the task which prevents action.
For
some people though – or maybe all of us at some point in our lives -
even that first minute, tiny step is a ‘step too far’ – a cold sweat inducing action that keeps them rooted in the now.
It
is generally agreed that our actions and feelings are largely
determined by our beliefs about ourselves and others – so it is often
not reality which upsets us or holds us back, but our beliefs and
interpretations of that reality. As early psychotherapist and
personality theorist Alfred Adler said - it is obvious that we are not
influenced by facts but by our interpretation of those facts.
So
we base choices and decisions on what we believe, but quite often these
beliefs are neither logical nor productive; instead they can be
restrictive, inhibiting and self defeating. In reality, many of these
beliefs are quite irrational and prevent us from achieving our
potential.
Some examples of this might be:
‘I must succeed at everything I do’
‘I never finish anything’
’I’m too old/young/uneducated etc to…………. ‘
‘People must treat me fairly’
‘I’m rubbish at ………..’
‘If I fail at any important task, I’m a total failure as a person.’
‘I’ll never be able to do ……..’
As coaches we are continually helping our clients to deal with change, either enforced or desired. It
is a question of changing feelings and behaviours: unless negative or
self-limiting beliefs are explored and changed/replaced it is unlikely
that any sustainable change can occur.
So, if you’re struggling to take that first step, consider which beliefs might be holding you back.
“Success isn't how far you got, but the distance you travelled from where you startedâ€
